Acceptance

Driving. Eastbound on Sunset. Other Car, Westbound on sunset, suddenly turns left in front of me. Slam Brakes... BANG. Collision. Engine... no power, no revs, dead. Alejandra, OK (I really hope). Guy completes turn. I get out. Anger. Anger. Anger. Someone's stupidity can ruin your night in a split second. Guy stops. Gets out. I kick a fence really really hard. What the fuck did you do that for? Apologetic. Admitting fault. Confusion. Where's Ale? Up the street. I follow. Trying to console the best I could while trying to avoid accepting what just happened and doing a horrible job at it. Denial. Car's bleeding liquids. Stupid car. Stupid car. Stupid car. Stupid other driver, piece of fucking shit retarded motherfucker. Crowd gathers, walking back down as someone yells at me reminding me I should probably try move my car. Big white dude that helped me push my stupid car, at this point totaled, more towards the road. Getting out of car realizing that was its last resting place. Forgot the other drivers face. Where is he? There he fucking is. Suppressing my anger and rage. What do I do now? Call the cops? Good idea. 2:08 AM - 911. Please hold? Your call will be answered in order that is received? This message is for people with hearing problems? (TTY sounds). Minutes later. California highway patrol, whats the emergency. Accident, collision, Sunset/Edgecliff. Any injuries? None apparent (though I wish other fucking driver would have decapitated himself somehow). Hold, for transfer. LAPD non emergency... please hold. Call will be taken in order received. Next time please call 1-800-ASK-LAPD. Minutes later. Answer. Any injuries? None apparent. Ok, get other drivers info and have a nice day. WTF? Police arrive. Firetrucks arrive. Are you hurt sir? No I'm fine. Who else was in the car? She was. Are you hurt ma'am? "No, I'm fine". Mandatory evaluation? Trying hardest to grasp situation. Too many things in my head. Car is wrecked. Front gone. Engine squashed. His car? BM-fucking-W. Made out of steel. Right side squashed a bit. Tires popped out of his wheels. Officer to me: License, registration, proof of insurance? Handed license. Registration and insurance in car. Walk towards car. I start noticing pieces of my car all over the road. Theres one of the pulleys of my serpentine belt next to the curb. I start remembering the time my belt snapped and I had to drive my car from SMC all the way home without power steering and without a working water pump. Noticed my hood open. Did it open because of the impact? Doubtful. Someone probably popped the battery cable out to prevent car from exploding. Searching through glove box. Found my XM Antenna. Won't be needing that anymore. Hand officer registration/insurance. Paramedics checking Alejandra. Signing papers. Overhear peace officer (cop? paramed?) saying it's surprising no one got injured. I'm asked Airbags deployed? 1991 model, no airbags. Nervousness kicks in. What do I do now? Whats going to happen? First accident ever. No idea what standard procedure would be. I finally see the front of my car. Fuck. Right side has most of the damaged. If only I would have hit the brakes a split second sooner. If only he would have hit the gas more. If only he wouldn't have turned on me. If only I wouldnt have taken Sunset. If only I would have taken a second more to leave 4100. If only I would have taken the freeway. If only this wouldn't have happened. Still in shock and denial? Check up on Ale again. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Told to go take care of situation. I call my dad, tells me he'll be there in a few minutes. Parameds leave. Crowd leaves. Tania arrives, Ale leaves (for the best). Just me, stupid (the other driver), and the two officers. Smell of burned rubber, engine smoke and car fluids (I still can't get that smell out of my system). Acceptance? Remembering learning how to drive in car. Remembering almost crashing on I-10 my first time on the freeway. Remembering the first time I drove to DMHS. Remembering my two driving tests. Failing the first, passing the second. Remembering driving to Belmont for night school. Remembering the time one of the spark plugs popped out while Daniel was in the car with me by Lafayette park. Remembering driving to Cal Poly. Remembering all the time I spent in my car, relaxed without a care in the world. Theres my bumper, about to fall out. Reflection? Other driver leaves. He stopped, gave officers his info. Besides being a stupid idiot and ruining my car he hasn't broken any laws. He leaves walking. Niceties are exchanged but I don't shake his hand. I let him know in front of the officers that right after the accident I wanted to beat the shit out of him. Officer looks at me surprised and ask me why I would say that. Oh I dont know, because his incompetence fucked me over? Officer laughs. Waiting for the tow truck to arrive. I share with the officers how that wrecked piece of Japanese engineering was my first car ever. How I was about to give it a tune up and change the brakes. "Well at least the other guy saved you that money." True officer. An extreme solution to a simple problem. He tells me about his first car. A rusted green truck with three on the wheel (Three gears on the wheel). I share how I always hoped to have my car forever. Fix it up one day. Change the engine to a 2.0 Liter. Paint it. Fix the interior. The tow truck arrives. Tow truck driver asks me if the officer taught me how to drive. I tell him to go fuck himself. This wasn't my fault. Felt like punching the guy. Back to anger? He takes off my front bumper and throws it inside my car. I realized that for that big of an impact my car took the hit pretty well. I wonder if Alejandra is really ok. I wonder if I'm ok. Do I feel any pain? Does anything hurt? Will anything hurt once my adrenaline levels settle down? There goes my car on the back of the tow truck, leaving behind a nice pool of car blood behind. I shake the officers' hand. They leave. I'm all alone. I notice a piece of my grill on the road. I pick it up. I consider taking it as a souvenir. I throw it back on the floor. Why bother? It starts sinking in slowly. I'm all alone. Just me and the remnants of my vehicle. I finally notice the tire marks I left behind while slamming on my brakes. You can tell the exact spot on the road where the impact happens because the straight tire marks suddenly shift right a bit until they end. I should have swerved to the left. Were there any other cars going westbound? I should have swerved damn it. Stupid thought. Could have had a head on collision with another vehicle if I did that. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. My stupidity is interrupted by a phone call. Yeah, dad's on his way, I'll be ok. SUV pulls over then departs. I'm all alone. I tweet. Dad finally gets there. I recreate the accident for him. We leave. As I sit in the passenger seat of his car, everything suddenly comes back to me. I wonder what gives. Why me? Why tonight? What gives? I get home. I get a phone call. I'll be ok. Talk to you tomorrow. I stand for about ten minutes wondering what do I do know? I suddenly get the urge to call my insurance company right away, while the details are fresh. I dial. Blah blah blah please call during business hours... Monday-Friday 8AM to... MONDAY? MONDAY? If anyone of you ever plan on crashing into me, please have the decency to do it on a weekday so I don't have to deal with the anxiety of calling my insurance company two days from now. 3:48 AM - Not sleepy. I open this up. Begin writing. Left hand still bothering me a bit. Not sleepy at all. 5:26AM I finish writing. Three hours and 26 minutes ago I was finishing up a pretty awesome day and now I'm just alive. Acceptance.